» ''The Six Kinds Of People You Will Find In A Church In Naija'' «

I have been observing people in my church for a long time
and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you
find in a typical Nigerian church.
1. The first set of people are called the Bible Scholars.
They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor
says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was
shocked to see a brother by my side today writing
everything the pastor said including the "praise the lord",
"amen" e.t.c they are always waving their hands and
shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.
2. The second set of people are called the talkers. All they
do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their
mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt
even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly.
Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to
separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a
pastor on the altar shouted "Shut Up" on a girl from the
congregation out of reflex action due to her endless
talking...
3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can
be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would
then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers
wake them up, they would insist that they were only
sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the
floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went
to chibok from there...
4. Walkers
This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All
they do is to go in and out of the church. They cant sit
down comfort ably for 5 minutes. They always have
something to do either to change money for offering or to
buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying
words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the
way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother
like that because he was always going in and out,
disturbing the woman. ..
5. The Eaters
People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their
mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not
beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir
member for that matter eating corn at the front row during
service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn,
plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the
amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had
to seize her bags...
6. Frosh Kidz
this people come to church with a lo t of pride. They dress
as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of
heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with
all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they
don't have money. They would now start forming british
accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck
chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c. They usually
come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads
high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their
hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that
boy/girl they have been crushing on....
Which one do you belong to?
Feel free to add yours...