Hazel Higgleton, 25, went through hell when a jilted boyfriend wanting revenge posted an intimate video of her on a porn website...
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Simon Taylor
Hazel is glad legislation has changed after what she went through
Laughing with my friends, I glanced down at my phone. We were having a sunny picnic in the park and I’d casually mentioned I’d had some Facebook friend requests from men I didn’t know.
"Check your “Others Inbox” to see if anyone’s messaged you," my friend Donna suggested. As I logged on and opened the folder, a wave of nausea hit me.
Flashing in front of me was message after message, all from strange men. I felt weak as I read the contents. Some were unbelievably crude, describing what they wanted to do to me, others warned me that a sex video of me was online – even including a link.
The nightmare begins
I tentatively clicked on it. To my horror, my full name flashed up in capital letters, followed by a video that was private, intimate and graphic. Five seconds’ viewing was enough – I shut down the screen and flung the phone on the floor.
I felt violated and dirty, almost as if those men had been physically touching me. I wanted to contact them all and scream that they had no right to see me like that.
My mind flashed back to events of the last few months. Yes, I’d consented to being filmed, but in doing so I’d done nothing wrong. The only person who’d acted badly was my ex-boyfriend, John*, who’d filmed me, kept the video and, without my permission, posted it on porn sites to get back at me for our break-up. I felt sick.
That summer I’d been piecing my life back together. After a tempestuous, 10-month relationship, I’d finally found the strength to leave John, who was very controlling. Our first few weeks together had been great, which was when that video was filmed.
"Go on," he said. "It’ll be special, so I can watch you even when we’re apart." He talked me into it – the idea he’d show anyone else never crossed my mind.
Hazel had trusted her boyfriend
Even when his controlling behaviour escalated, that video never concerned me. The rows were constant, and his mind games got disturbing. While we were arguing one day, me crying in my pyjamas, he whipped out his phone, photographed my distraught expression, then threatened to put the picture on social media.
I begged him not to and in the end he never did. Looking back, that was the least of my worries…
"We’re only over when I say we’re over," he texted me after I’d plucked up the courage to leave him for good. "Don’t forget, I’ve still got that video," he messaged. "I’m going to post it online."
Naively, I didn’t take his threats seriously. When he texted screenshots of the video to me and, embarrassingly, my friend Donna, I still didn’t believe him. It felt like yet another power trip. Even he wasn’t capable of doing something so hurtful, I assumed. How wrong could I be?
Feeling helpless
That afternoon in the park, still reeling from the shock, I started thinking about what to do. "I’ve got to call the police," I told Donna as we packed away the picnic.
I’d never heard of revenge porn, but I’d read about celebrity sex tapes, and the big American lawsuits. What had happened to me had to be illegal… hadn’t it?
I was in for a shock. After taking a statement and looking at messages from John, the two police officers gently broke the news. "I’m afraid we can’t do anything," one said, regretfully. "In the eyes of the law, what he did doesn’t constitute harassment." I felt powerless.
All they could do was advise me to text John, warning him not to contact me again, and to email internet search engines requesting the video was taken down. I couldn’t believe it! I was the one being violated, yet the law was against me. John, meanwhile, was free to get away with his disgusting actions.
In the weeks that followed, the video went viral, and was re-posted by random people to porn sites around the world, even in Japan.
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